It's been one crazy month! The boys started back to school about 4 weeks ago. I'm doing a lot of reflecting today on past school experiences, what I've learned from our trials and tribulations and how I can use that to better the experience of public schooling for my boys.
I would put communication with teachers and specialists as a very high priority. So far.... eh. It's not so bad with Stephen's teacher. I seriously need to get (or find) her email address. I think she did give it to everyone, but there are so many forms and papers to fumble through that first week! I've already let her know that an informational conference would probably be a good idea since Stephen's IEP is not up for review until October. It's like torture to wait because I would love for everything to have been in place and ready to go by the first day of school. I had to request a peer helper again, give suggestions, etc. I thought she had this info, but I guess I was mistaken.
With Phillip (going by "Phil" now), it's a bit more complicated. He's in the 6th grade & has 3 teachers. I would love to give him more freedom and independence - not having to see his mom up there every-other-day, BUT I have got to talk to his teachers. I didn't know until the Parent/Staff Organization (PSO) meeting & Open House that Phil's teachers did NOT know of his special needs! The counselor assured me that the teachers have his information. I became suspicious when Phil came home from school upset that he got in trouble for drifting off to sleep. For Phil, this is a medication issue and he's going through some adjustments right now. I sat down and quickly scribbled a letter for all of his teachers one morning before school. I gave everyone my contact info & requested their email addresses in return. So far, I've gotten a response from ONE person. Crap. And, again I say - CRAP. I cannot sit and write letters all the time. PLEASE God, I need their email addresses! That way, they all get the same message at the same time and can reply to all, plus copy the counselor, etc, etc.... If I can't communicate with these folks, we're going to have a tough year. At least they know now that Phil has Tourette's syndrome. I hope they read the info I wrote down carefully. I told them I'd like to have a conference to discuss his special needs and accommodations. I shouldn't have to do this, though. They should have this info already, but better to be redundant than take the chance that they are in the dark on this issue. It's just frustrating.
I can't really go and peep in on the teachers like I could last year. I don't know why. I could pop my head in Stephen's classroom at any time! I didn't so much with Phil, but I did show up to lunch sometimes and ended up checking in with his teachers. I helped them out on certain occasions which opened up an opportunity for better communication.
I just have get off my lazy butt to initiate these conferences with all the teachers. It's a matter of just doing it, but the motivation is not really there right now. I think I'm just tired of telling our story so many times. I would love to email links to all of the teachers about my boys' diagnoses and their medications. That would be helpful, would it not? I cannot possibly relay all the info I need to relay in what will probably be only 30 minutes allotted for these meetings.
Sometimes I just want to take a break from being "mother of special needs kids". I want a day to not think about it, but it's the reality of my life, their lives, how I think and why I do what I do, why I say what I say - so ingrained in me that I cannot escape this stress and responsibility to care for my boys while keeping myself emotionally healthy. Is it so bad to want a "normal" day? We have good days and bad, but never "normal." I know - there is no normal - except one of the settings on a washing machine. That's it. What about average? Can I have an average family for a day? Oh, but wait... that would be boring, wouldn't it?
So that leads me to what I tell so many people who ask, "How do you do it?" and "You must be so patient," and "You must stay tired." I tell folks that an average family with an average life is boring. I love my kids - the way they are, special needs and everything. Sure, it's tiring and stressful, but rewarding to know that God chose me to raise these boys. And, I can definitely say there is not much "boring" going on in the Lane Gang.
I guess I just have to take on each day as a new adventure. I have to start with a deep breath and prayer for sanity to get myself mentally and emotionally ready for the tasks that lie ahead of me every single day. I'll make it my goal to get these meetings set up this week & will let you all know how that goes. Until then... keep sending me those good vibes!
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